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A Call to Love

I was in a condo in Hawaii when I first heard the voice. 


“Melaleuca,” it said. It was a dark, deep and earthy voice. A masculine voice. One I had never heard before. And it was inside my head of all places. 


My mother was going on about a skin irritation she had. She was desperate to clear it up because we were on vacation and it was bothering her. Nothing she had tried was helping. 


I said, “I have no idea what melaleuca is but I think it will help you.” 


Her face instantly brightened. “Oh, that’s tea tree oil! How do you know it will help?” 


I shrugged and said that was what the voice told me. 


My mom and I may not always have agreed about everything but in that moment, she did not judge me. She responded with sort of a shrug of acceptance and gratitude for the message. 


My mother loved essential oils. She even traveled with them and had a whole ritual she did at bed time. One time when we traveled together we shared a room. I didn’t even use her oils but with all the aroma in the air, I slept like a baby. I never got the gist of them but I do appreciate the voice speaking to her in a language she understood. 


It would be almost 7 years before I heard the voice again. 


While I had thought of it often, I truly had no idea what or who it was or why it happened. 


The week before we left for Hawaii, I had a reading with a well known astrologer. She told me that I would see a glimpse of the future while I was traveling. Always the skeptic, I thought, hmmm ok. Let’s see what happens. 


I had only begun to have glimpses of spirit at that point. I was angry a lot of the time. Struggling with my health, I was unsatisfied in so many areas of life. I was no longer drinking alcohol, and that had previously been a crutch for me and something I did a lot of. My health challenges had led to some profound food changes for me. I had recently finished my masters degree in public health. That was a huge undertaking for me as a single parent who worked full time and yet somehow I pushed through and got it done. In fact, this trip was spurred by money I won as part of an academic award in graduate school. It was a wild cascade of events that even led me to Hawaii in the summer of 2017. 


Not only did I hear the voice in Hawaii, but one morning I saw the most beautiful profound light I’ve ever seen. I woke up early because of jet lag. I decided I would take a walk. My mom, who also wasn’t sleeping, decided to come with me. I was mildly annoyed by this because I was in a bad mood and wanted to walk and sulk a little. But she persisted and so we went together. 


While we walked I took pictures as I always do. We saw whales in the ocean nearby which was magical. And then we made our way onto the golf course. 


I don’t recall the exact reason I attempted the picture but when I put my phone up, it was as if there was some golden spiderweb on the lens. I shook my phone and attempted to clean it off. There was nothing there. My mom held up her phone to take the picture and hers was normal. Mine was a radiant golden splotch of light. It almost seemed to move. I was befuddled and had no idea what I was looking at. It was remarkable to say the least.


light in the sky
Like what actually is this?

I had so many wild things happen that week, including some fairly profound and prophetic dreams. Without a doubt, this trip to Hawaii marked the unofficial start to my spiritual awakening. 


And yet, none of those things prepared me for what was to come next. My work with spirit has been one of the most profound gifts in my life. I have witnessed what some might call miracles again and again. It is hard to surprise me these days but it is not hard to make me smile. I love what I do. 


Recently, when I heard the voice again, it was like all the puzzles pieces got in the right spaces. And yes, I was definitely surprised. I participated in a medical intuitive development class with the wonderful Tina Zion. First, let me say this lady is AMAZING. I have followed her work for years, fascinating by what she does and her approach. Given that my spiritual work started with my health falling apart, I was always interested in the concept of medical intuition. The more I learned in the land of public health, the more certain I was that energy was often at the root of our health malfunctions. 


I spent three full days immersed in this learning and most of the time my head was ready to burst with all the dots connecting.  The threads were weaving a new story and filling in a lot of gaps. On the second day, we met the guides who will help us with this work. As soon as we connected, I heard it: It was the voice. The dark, deep and earthy one. I knew it as soon as I heard it. 


If you had told me seven years ago that this voice was real and it might be something I heard again in the future, I probably would have dismissed you and suggested professional help. 


Back then, I was desperate for help. I was resisting my bodily reactions to everything, dismayed at the challenges of my immense sensitivities. In fact, while I was there I was set to meet a well known and highly regarded Hawaiian healer. He also spent time in Buffalo and was referred to me by a friend. I was already going to Hawaii, and when I made contact with his team, they informed me I would be staying less than an hour from him. Kismet I thought! This is why I got the itch to go to Hawaii in the first place. What perfect timing! 


When we finally landed on the Big Island and made our way to the condo, I got a text from the healer’s team. He was sick it turned out, and would not be able to meet with me during my stay. 


I was devastated to say the least. I had just landed in Hawaii, which was great, but I wanted to be healed. This was what spurred my need for solitude and sulking just a couple days later. 


Isn’t it funny how, while in crisis, we want to have all the answers.  Yet, in fact, sometimes we can’t handle the answers until the time is right. If you knew the end of your story in advance, logic would have you miss a lot of suffering. But wouldn’t you lose the lessons that are inherent to that process? 


For me, I needed to learn to trust Spirit and my intuition before this next layer could work. I needed to feel off kilter in my body to understand traumas, energetic causes of pain and illness. I even needed to learn more deeply about astrology and human design to reveal vulnerabilities and challenges in our energy bodies as well. I am a yogi after all, I know we can do a lot of good with breath and movement.


I was just scratching the surface back then. Now I know so much more.


As I look back, I think about the girl with the shitty attitude on the beach seeing the golden light. She was given a monster sized gift and she couldn’t see it at the time. She was being healed but not the way she imagined she might be. She needed to learn to trust herself and her body.


A couple nights before we left Hawaii, I had a dream I got a phone call from the Hawaiian healer. He said he could connect with me the following day at 4 pm. I was flustered in the dream, telling him “I know that I can heal myself, that I didn’t need him, but his help was welcome.” That was the dream. It was fairly mundane but felt real at the same time.


The next day at 4 pm, I was texting with a friend at home and she was telling me about a healer she had seen that day. I told her about my dream. Only then did it dawn on me that maybe this was another gift from the Universe giving me a healing resource at home since my Hawaii connection didn’t pan out. It was 4 pm after all!


I was again skeptical but as always, I was hopeful.


That healer at home taught me to reconnect to my heart, and from there, things just had a mind of their own. 


Which brings me back to the voice. I am still learning to connect with my new “medical intuition team” but I am deeply passionate about seeing where this next phase goes. I am still a work in progress myself. Which makes me take pause and ask, are we ever truly healed? I think we can get there but we have to consider all the things we carry in our body that causes it to malfunction. Some things can’t be cured by pills, some (and I would say most) things involve energy and breaking up old patterns, stories and releasing trapped emotions. The lighter we can get inside, the lighter our bodies will be too. 


I hope this story at least made you wonder how our wonderful human bodies work. One day I dream of a world where Eastern and Western medicine truly unite and we all find the healing we need without suffering side effects and massive costs or pain. 


Later on, I would see the Hawaiian healer a few different times (in Buffalo). He was just as magical as expected. We even shared office space at one point. He told me I was meant to be sovereign, to be free. I told him about the dream I had in Hawaii. He said, "Oh, I probably did that. I do stuff like that some times."


Energy is powerful stuff. Never doubt that the things you think and send out don't reach their destination. Including the things you send to yourself.


PS And if you would like to dive deeper with me, I would love to work with you!


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