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The veil is thin during the Halloween season. It is a profoundly energetic time of the year and it is easier to connect with the other side. As someone who talks to those on the other side, this is perhaps the most asked question in my office: "How can I tell they are around?"
From my point of view, I can tell you that they are around a lot. They show me they are with you in both the most mundane and celebratory of situations. They are aware that your car needs an oil change or that you just painted your bathroom.
You may not be aware of all of this.
And so people ask, "How can I tell they are around?"
Keep an open mind
I am not sure where the stereotypical “signs” come from that people look for. The heads-up dime for example. Where did that initiate? We all know tails never fails. Kidding. You may have preconceived notions of what to expect when your loved ones come around. People always want to see a cardinal or that heads up dime. In my experience, signs tend to be less “typical” and are actually more specific to the person in question. My sign for my Dad is rainbows. I was obsessed with rainbows as a child (and now), we colored together and I was always doing things in “rainbow order’, I even convinced him to wallpaper my bedroom in rainbows. The day he died, I saw a sun dog in the sky. It was the first time I ever noticed one and I instantly felt in my bones it was him letting me know he was OK. Now every time I see a rainbow or a sun dog, I feel like it is a little hello from him.
My signs for my mother are more complex, which tracks as she was a complex lady. For example, any time I see one deer in a conspicuous place, I know it is her saying hello. Now she was not a deer person but, on the morning she passed, as my husband and I walked out of Hospice there was one solo deer watching me the entire walk to my car. Again, I had that feeling in my bones so I went with it. There are so many things I associate her with, but this is a big one.
In my practice, I see spirit use whatever means possible to get your attention. A breeze that comes from nowhere on a calm day, ringing in your ear, a familiar smell in an unlikely place, these sorts of things are common.
Songs and music are huge. They love to send you songs, especially if they were fans of a particular artist or genre.
They come in dreams all the time. So many of you also question the dreams you have. Now I am not saying every dream of your loved ones is a visitation, but a lot of the time they are. The key for all of this is that feeling in your bones or a strong sense of knowing. Don’t dismiss those feelings.
Are you driving in the car and get a laugh about something they used to do? That counts. Are you decorating the Christmas tree and have a memory about them? Also counts. Stay open and let them do their thing!
Give them the opportunity to reach you
This is another common occurrence. People tell me they have been waiting for something from their loved ones. They can’t believe they haven’t felt them around. It goes a little something like this.
Spirit Person: I am sending them songs.
Me: They say are they are sending you songs.
Client: Oh I can’t turn the radio on anymore when I drive. It is too sad.
You get the idea. If you shut off the avenues they might have to reach you, you limit the chances you will hear from them. It makes sense if music is too triggering, but if you really want to hear from them you might need to let it play.
Same goes with dreams. If you can't sleep deeply, you may not remember or even have dreams to connect with them. Sleep is also so critical to healing, especially from grief. If this is a problem for you, I highly recommend support for that. (My favorite sleep book is: "Why We Sleep," by Matthew Walker.)
Suspend your preconceived notions
Back to the heads-up dime. I am sure that is a full-on legitimate sign for some of you. If you feel that, go with it. I am talking more about those of you who demand specific things from your loved ones. This is the person who won’t believe anything is real until they see a cardinal in their front window. I get that is nice and always feel like a robust sign. But what about the other birds in your yard? Or maybe you see a cardinal on a flag or sticker on a car. Do you let those count? Also does a bird as a symbol make sense for your person? My sister-in-law is petrified of birds. Should I happen to outlive her, I doubt very much I will see a bird and think of her. Release your need to control this and just let it play out.
Pay attention to those things that feel out of the ordinary
I was giving a talk on signs once and a man who attended the event stood up to say he had been looking for a cardinal after his daughter passed. He hadn’t seen one but he did recount a story about a hummingbird who sat on his hand. It went so far as to allow him to bring it in the house to show his wife before finally flying away once it went outside. He said that during this experience, he kept wondering if it was his daughter. He felt it in his bones that is was.
That is not normal. Please, if a hummingbird sits on your hand, let that be a sign.
Earlier this week, my brother-in-law posted a picture of a giant buck on his lawn. He lives in a very suburban neighborhood, and this was a massive creature. It was also the anniversary of my father in law’s passing. Coincidence? I do not believe in coincidence, but since it wasn’t my sign, I can’t judge. Stay open to what feels unusual.
Use all of your senses
Tune in with your heart, your nose, your ears, your bones; your whole body is a tuning fork for messages and connection.
I recall one time I was walking into our local grocery store and I smelled the very distinct odor of my ex father in laws house. It was unmistakable. The man had passed several years before. In the next second, I saw his ex-wife walking towards me. They had long been divorced but how ironic that he tipped me off that she was there. We are all connected after all.
Your signs may come from other people
I was prompted to write this today because this question has been coming up in readings a lot lately.
Also, as I write this, it is Halloween night. The last of the trick or treaters has come and gone. Halloween is the day my dad passed away 23 years ago. As I was making dinner, my cousin who lives in another state, sent me a video of a big, glorious rainbow. I squealed with delight! Here it is, Halloween, and I get yet another rainbow from my Dad. I was sad today and this was a huge comfort.
That is how this works. It didn’t need to be a rainbow that I saw in person. My cousin didn’t need to know today was the day he passed away. She knew I loved rainbows and sent the video to me because of that. I was the one who connected all the dots.
With that in mind, I encourage you to stay open to everything. Use all of your senses. Suspend judgements and preconceived notions. Do not make demands on them, let it flow, trust and see what comes.
They are with you always; I promise you that.
Love, Christy
xoxoxo
PS I have made specific demands on them in the past. Sometimes it works out but I feel like the universe and our other side people have access to way better stuff than I can conjure up. Why not let them show us what they can do?
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