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Against the Wind

Earlier this week, I had the pleasure of doing a reading for a client I had initially encountered at the Forest Temple at Lilydale Assembly late last summer. Her family/spirit loved ones came through loud and clear and oddly, I found myself offering up all sorts of imagery and metaphors from the movies. Tom Hanks movies came up more than once both with “Castaway” and “Forrest Gump” references. I laughed and said, “I do not know why they are showing me things from these movies but I have learned to deliver what I see.”

Forest Temple at Lilydale Assembly, like the stump but not quite as deep in the woods

My client told me at the end of the reading that she loves movies and that she wasn’t surprised this was how Spirit would deliver her messages. I shook my head in agreement because I understood that Spirit knows best. In the past I would’ve discounted these images but now I know better and just say what I get.

It was a lovely reading all around.

As I was taught, Spirit never wastes a message. Not only were there similarities in what I delivered for this client and two others later that week, but there were moments in this week’s messages for me too. It almost never fails that something I say to a client in a reading will be meaningful for me in some way too. (That is what I like to call WAAC, short for We Are All Connected)

All this Tom Hanks stuff got me thinking. I am not sure if my client is a big Tom Hanks fan or not, but Spirit showing me these references reminded me of a post I have had percolating in my brain for a bit of time now.

“Forrest Gump” is a classic in my family. It was a movie we had on VHS at our family cottage, so odds were on the occasional rainy day that might occur, this was bound to be played. My kids watched that movie so many times I feel like I could jump in and act out the scenes myself.

Not long ago, I caught part of “Forrest Gump” on TV and it was right when Forrest started running across the country. As I mentioned, I have easily seen this movie 100 times. I know he runs a lot in the film, which I never paid a lot of attention to before. Now, my constantly immersed astrology brain finds this running to be a Sagittarius thing. In fact, so much of this movie is Sagittarius oriented between his world travel, risk taking, running and abundance that I started thinking whoever wrote this movie clearly did this on purpose.

My daughter tells me, “No, people don’t really think like that. It’s just a coincidence.”

She also suggests I am obsessed and that is why I always go there with astrology references.

Regardless of who is right, when Forrest started running after Jenny left him, which occurred shortly after his Mom died, I said to myself, “How long does Forrest run anyway?”

Well, Forrest runs for 3 years, 2 months, 14 days and 16 hours. That had me thinking his progressed moon was most definitely in Sagittarius for that part of his life in the movie! Admittedly, this is only funny if you speak astrology. Long and short, there is a secondary (progressed) chart that astrologers use to predict phases of our lives. These include moon cycles which are about 2 and a half years long and when those are happening, we experience things a little bit differently. The sign, and the house the moon is in creates a different flavor in our lives. For example, if Forrest was in a Sagittarius phase, he might find himself traveling, exercising and taking risks as well as meeting Sagittarius people who help him along his journey. This is further bolstered that just before Sagittarius is Scorpio. That might have been a time when Forrest might have experienced some heartache and loss, perhaps as a result of doubling down and asking Jenny to marry him only to be rejected. But again, my brain is clearly tainted by astrology.

Then, because my brain has no off switch, I thought, “Well how long have I been running?” Note to the reader - I do not actually run. I have arthritis in my knees so you are more likely to find me at the yoga studio or walking my dogs. This is me figuratively trying to outrun grief.

I have been trying to outrun the grief I harbor as a result of my mom’s passing. On February 19, 2022, it will be 3 years, 2 months, 14 days and 16 hours since she died. That is when Forrest would’ve stopped. I felt great comfort in watching Forrest run, to escape his pain and loneliness. We all know his story keeps going after this great pause and he marries Jenny and has a son to care for. And the feather just keeps blowing in the wind as it does.

Myself, I am in the thick of a self-appointed sabbatical as I call it. I am not working full time and that comes with all sorts of angst and uncertainty. Most days, I am ok with it because I know that 2022 and 2023 are filled with some magical once-in-a-lifetime transits that should serve to support and bolster my energy. However, some days I am filled with dread, guilt and doubt that I may never leave my house or be of great service to anyone ever.

What I tell myself is to enjoy and savor the moments, both the ones you judge as low points and the ones that appear to be high points because you just never know when that feather is going to pick up and blow around again.

As for grief, I don’t think you can really outrun it no matter what I have been telling myself. Grief to me is something you get used to and learn to live with. You make room for it like a family heirloom that you don’t particularly want but it would be wrong to get rid of. It can be a comfort or a curse, and it really depends on the day. What I think I am really outrunning is the pain. There is a deep well of pain I am avoiding because it is unlike any depths I have ever encountered. I have had multiple dream about these deep waters and I while I am not looking forward to it, I know I must rid myself of this burden.

“Better out than in,” my Mom used to say. Generally, however, that followed a burp.

And so, I am continuing to sit with the pain, enjoying this low and quiet phase of my life before the feather flits off again. A time for everything they say. And I believe that is true. If you find yourself in some sort of pause or break and maybe you feel guilty about it, or feel useless or lost, please know that everything is part of a cycle and this too shall pass. Before you get too comfortable, something will come to change your story. Because as Forrest (and astrology) shows us, that is how life works.

And remember, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are gonna get.”

PS Forest Temple? What the heck. I didn't even make that connection until I just read this again!

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