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“Cemetery.” A simple whisper, I heard it in my head as I wrapped up a very long workday. The sun was shining, and it was still pretty warm. I knew I wanted to walk the dogs and that is one of my favorite places to take them.
I changed my clothes and loaded the dogs in the car and off to the cemetery we went. It is not too far to walk directly there but my senior dog Duncan simply won’t go that far anymore. The entrance closest to my house was locked and so I drove all the away around to the other side. I passed the beach on the way and entertained going there instead but no, the voice said “cemetery” and that was where we would go. I learned a long time ago not to ignore those little clues that show up.
We made our way inside the cemetery and weren’t there but a minute when I saw them. A whole bunch of turkeys. “Whoa!” I thought. I just had a run in with a turkey a few days ago. While entering the highway, a turkey crossed right in front of me, causing me to slow down and wait for him. It was such a lovely thing to watch and as I always consider all animal interactions in the wild as possible messengers, I was thrilled to let him pass.
But here, just three days later and 7 turkeys? Not a coincidence. One was even all puffed up like you see on Thanksgiving decorations and Macy’s parade floats.
My mom painted ceramics when I was a little girl as I am sure a lot of women did in the 70’s and 80’s. There are ceramic turkeys just like that in several sizes, I am sure in some bin at her old house.
I immediately stopped the car to get out and look closer. I counted them to be sure. 7 turkeys! Did you know a group of turkeys are called a rafter? I did not.
This was utter magic as far as I was concerned. We all know I love birds and love a good sign from the universe. 7 birds have been a theme in my dreams so I was super excited at the synchronicity.
I got back in the car and parked in a more appropriate place. I was giddy as we made our way. Duncan, the senior dog, is a notoriously stubborn walker. Some days he wants to go and other days he puts the brakes on a lot. Today was more of brakes on day. I was mildly annoyed with him because I made the effort to come to the cemetery but I was still happy with my turkey sighting and the beautiful day. I would take what I could get with Duncan!
We made maybe 2 laps around the short loop where we parked and made our way back to the car. As we got closer, I saw a deer standing alone, watching us, just about where the turkeys had been.
Out loud I said, “If that is you, I want you to show me.”
You see, the morning my mother died, after we said goodbye to her and they took her away, my husband and I walked to our car. It was still dark out, very early morning. There was just one deer standing in the parking lot. It stared at us as we walked to the car. Ever since that day, when I see just one deer alone I always think of my mom. I was convinced that was her spirit affirming she was free, already at peace and outside of her tormented and diseased body.
Back in the cemetery, I got in the car, expecting some song or other clue to validate my suspicion that it was her. I did not know the song that played and off we went. The deer passed in front of the car as we drove by, however I was disappointed that nothing remarkable happened.
The turkeys were enough on this glorious day, I told myself. As we pulled back on to the road, a new song came on. This one I knew. It was a song by Sugarland, which was one of my mom’s favorites. This caught me a little off guard, and the lyrics made me feel things.
“Well, it feels like we're living from pay check to check
And we wake up wondering what might happen next
Yeah, sometimes it feels like we won't make it through
But the hard times pass
Like the good ones do
Baby, wrap your fingers and hold on tight
I'll be right here beside you tonight”
I know I am prone to flights of fancy, so I appreciated the moment and tried not to make too much of it.
I got home, made dinner and played more music. After dinner I settled on the couch to work on some charts for the week when my dogs started barking loudly. They are terriers so this is not that unusual. My husband looked out the window and said, “There is a deer, RIGHT THERE!”
I looked too and sure enough, at the bird feeder in our FENCED IN YARD, stood one deer, attempting to eat some seed.
I immediately knew it was her. We have deer out back all the time. In fact, I just saw some this morning when I filled that feeder. We have been here almost ten years and I have never seen a deer in the actual yard. In the neighbor’s unfenced yard, sure. But in our yard? Never.
After a short moment, Dave knocked on the window and it took off, leaping over the fence to leave. It was beautiful and I was verklempt to say the least.
I see you Pat. You are getting pretty good at this stuff as time wears on. Thank you for the beautiful reminder that I am never alone, no matter how salty I am or how alone I feel.
“Baby, climb up here
Watch the city glow
Let's make a wish on the fireworks below
We're making moments that we won't forget
And feeling ones that haven't happened yet.”
I have been having some hard moments lately. Eclipse season was hard on me. To have this visit means the world to me.
Please remember, none of us are ever alone, no matter what.
Love Christy xoxo