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Maybe it’s Time to Let the Old Ways Die…

(Since I am on sabbatical, this is from the archives of things that needed editing that didn’t make it to the blog. It feels appropriate to pull out for Mercury Retrograde however, so I hope you find some meaning.)


I have done a lot of readings this week and I have talked to a lot of people. And, as often happens, there has been a lot of repetition in the messages that came through. I never share personal details but I will share the themes that come up if they are robust enough as they were this week.


On my way to the office to meet with clients, I heard a song from the movie A Star is Born. The song was Bradley Cooper singing “Maybe It’s Time.”  The lyrics caught my attention because he refers to the amount of energy it takes to change a person, but despite that, sometimes we just need to let the old ways die. The song also speaks about no one knowing what waits for the dead. As someone who works in the death arena, I will always notice lyrics about death because I just don’t think it comes up often enough in polite conversation. I, for the record, do not pretend to know exactly what waits for the dead but I do speak to these folks often enough to notice patterns. This takes me back to my original thought.


In several readings this week, family themes were front and center. People who lost touch with relatives because of disagreements that started during a loved one’s illness; people who felt left out of a loved one’s passing and were now carrying a grudge; people who are in the middle of disputes that other loved ones are having and not knowing how to proceed. 


In every instance, the guidance was the same. To reconnect, if possible, in the moments of separation. That sometimes we assume people are mad at us while they are actually missing us and going through their own stuff, afraid that we are mad at them. That they would love to reconnect with someone who knew them way back when, before life got complicated and hard. 


Always in these moments we are asked to pull our energy out of situations and see what is left. If we don’t do the pushing or forcing in our relationships, what will be left? Sometimes is also our energy that messes things up. We put out angst, or negativity, or irritation, or we are ruminating or projecting onto a situation. Even without trying, we are creating static in the ethers. No good connections can come from that sort of energy.


Let me share an example. When I was in junior high, there was a boy I liked a lot. He had reached out to ask me to get together. Given my age, you can rest assured this occurred on a phone, the kind that got plugged into the wall. Let me describe: it was a hardwired device with push buttons for those that might be unfamiliar with this concept.


Who else had this one in their kitchen?

He was going to get back to me with details in a little while. In the meantime, my brother had been on the phone. This left me to wonder if the boy had called while my brother was on the phone. You see, there was a thing called a busy signal. And my parents did not have a double line because they felt it was rude to disregard the person you were talking to for another person.


“They can call back!”I can hear my Dad say.


So now what is a highly impatient Aries girl to do? Do I wait to see if he calls again? Do I (gulp) call him? 


This is me, how I have always been, no patience and an overactive brain.


It was also a weeknight so I knew my window to act was brief.


So after much deliberation, I called him. Busy signal. Crap. I called again and again. Busy.


This went on for probably an hour. Eventually I gave up and he did call me, but at that point it was too late to go out. He said he had tried to call me a bunch of times but it kept being busy. 


My angst and inability to sit with the unknown and trust the process messed the whole thing up. I was so worried that he had called or would not call again, that I made it so he could not call. We did not go out that night, or ever actually. 


If you are still with me, thank you. 


My point is this:


Maybe it is time to let the old ways die. If there is a grudge, let it go. If there is old pain, let that go too. If you are assuming someone is mad at you, when maybe they are missing you, make space for the connection, for healing. This is intended to be energetic. You don’t need to DO anything, except forgive. Then, allow things to flow the way they are intended to. Sometimes, nothing will happen because we are not meant to have these people in our lives. Either way, you just unloaded a lot of old pain and grief. This, to me, is a win-win.


I am a firm believer in intention and when we lead with love, how can we ever be wrong? 


I also see from my vantage point, that many of the disputes in our lives are meant to be resolved. We waste so much time on grudges, on maybes, assumptions and disconnects. It can eat away at us and waste our energy. This is not how we live our best lives. 


You can thank Spirit for this one. I would not normally tell you the story of my teenaged angst, but it seemed to fit. I would love it if you can enter this next year with less heaviness in your heart. Don’t make it so your people can’t call you if you actually want to hear from them. Let things flow, lead with love and make room for forgiveness. 

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