The Bills lost last night. As soon as I saw the wide right kick, I got quiet. Pretty much until I went to bed with the intention of drowning my sorrows in some pre-bed Netflix. I was quiet. I’m almost never quiet.
I did all that. I went to bed and put on Suits. I quickly feel asleep. I did not sleep well though. All night I felt like I had something to do. You know that feeling like when you have an early flight or meeting? This was me.
I woke up with a headache to the sound of my senior dog scratching to go outside. It was about an hour earlier than he normally wakes up. “I’ll do it," I said. My husband got home very late after a full day at the game.
And so I got up with the dogs. And I’m sitting here. Sullen. In my chair with my robe and a blanket and a cup of tea.
The thing I needed to do was to release all this emotion. So here goes.
All season long we ride or die with the Bills. These guys are so good. So warm, they care about each other, they care about the community we live in. And most importantly they connect all of us. No matter who you are, your beliefs or behaviors, they are the common thread. The thing that makes Buffalo - and all its many outposts - what it is: a community of super great, warm hearted caring people.
I sit with a heavy heart, not because the kick went right, or the one play didn’t go off as planned, but because it’s back to the divisive time. The time we act like we aren’t connected, when in fact we always are.
Also, because these warm, caring and talented men are going to carry such a heavy load the next days and weeks.
The critics, the naysayers, the never believers will complain and moan and act like next season they won’t be right back at it. For you, I don’t have much patience, but I do know we are still connected so I will give you a pass.
For the rest of you, who truly Billieve, I am here with you. Having my cup of tea. Quietly. In the dark of morning. Sending love to all. Wishing we could find a way to keep that Bills spirit all year long. Connected. Because we are, even if we don’t see it.
And for the players, thank you for being yourselves. Putting your heart and soul out there every single week. I try to imagine a press conference with millions of eyes on me after a shit day at work. I know I couldn’t do it. You are brave, and passionate and solid. For that, I will always be in your corner. For connecting us. For leading the charge to hope, to Billieve and to make us laugh, and scream and cry and truly be alive.
Thank you for another really wild ride and a season of connectedness and love. ❤️ 💙🦬